Questions To Ponder

Published on Thursday, January 1, 2009.

I know people with rock collections, coin collections and model collections. I know people that save soda cans, stamps and autographs. I even know a person who has a collection of Jaguars (the car, not the animal). Then there are those who collect the really stupid stuff and sadly, I am no exception. I enjoy collecting "Questions To Ponder".

Below is the list which I have compiled so far. If you have one which is not on my list, please add it to the comments section at the bottom of this page. The criteria for being on my list is that the question is "clean", unoffensive and at least makes sense. Example: I found a question earlier which asked, "When you write a word in pencil, and then erase it, where does it go?". That's just plain stupid!

I hope you enjoy my list.

 

If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there Interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?

If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn your head lights on, what happens?

Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Should Vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Do you find it a bit unnerving doctors call what they do practice?

If a funeral procession is at night, do you drive with your lights off?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of the song?

Why is there an expiration date on the sour cream container?

If most car accidents happen within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move ten miles away?

ould it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "S" in it?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What's another word for thesaurus?

What do they use to ship styrofoam?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do they call it a television set when you only get one?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Why are they called stairs inside, but steps outside?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, would it be charged with battery?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why are they're five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?

If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you are just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

Why do we drive on parkways but park on driveways?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why are "wise man" and "wise guy" opposites?

Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?

Have you ever noticed that just one letter makes the difference between "here" and "there"?

Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when we are already there?

Why is it that most irons have a setting for 'permanent press' garments?

Do hermits ever suffer from peer pressure?

If we know the speed of light, why hasn't anyone calculated the speed of dark?

How come birds aren't tickled by feathers?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

If 21 is pronounced twenty-one why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why does "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

If convenience stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss and not a near hit?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why don't psychics win all of the lotteries? 

Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

If I play a blank tape with the volume turned up, will the mime next door go nuts?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?  Shouldn't they be called builts?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

If all is not lost, where is it?

Why are there handicap parking places in front of skating rinks?

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions?

Why do you often see people ordering double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke?

Why is it that we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and yet leave useless junk in the garage?

Instead of putting pictures of criminals in the post office, why aren't they put on stamps so postman could look for them while they deliver the mail?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead."?

How much deeper would the ocean be if all the sponges didn't live there?

Why does the sun darken our skin but lighten our hair?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why is it that when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?

Why does an alarm clock go "off" when it actually goes "on?"

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Why does mineral water, that has trickled down the mountains for centuries, go out of date next year?

Why are softballs so hard?

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?

If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?

What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?

When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Can you daydream at night?

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

How can something be "new" and "improved"? If it's new, what was it improving on?

Why aren't drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?

Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?

If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?

If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?

Do prison buses have emergency exits?

Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?

If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?

Why is it that before 9/11 they always showed the emergency broadcast system test, and on 9/11 they never used it?

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?

Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?

Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Why do overalls have belt loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms?

Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?

How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?

If an escalator breaks down, does it become stairs?

Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

What are the handles for corn on the cob called?

Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?

Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just plain redundant?

Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

Why is there a light in the refrigerator and not in the freezer?

Who coined the phrase, 'coined the phrase?'

If you soak a raisin in water, does it turn back into a grape?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can't you be simply whelmed?

Shouldn't the opposite of shut up be shut down?

How come there aren't B batteries?

Why is the word for "a fear of long words," hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?

How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?

Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

If you have your finger touching the mirror that says "objects in mirror are closer than they appear," how is that possible?

Why does your nose "run" and your feet "smell"

How can someone draw a blank?

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